The Ones and 2's.

Every

one

is a 2

and the lonely

ones

sit and stare at the hearts above heads.

wondering when theres will come.

this town is a town of 2's.

not made for one's like me.

so i sit and glare and stare-

pretending not to care-

about the rose colored glasses, and the hearts in the air.

Alas,

I glance upon another one,

thinking that his heart could be mine

until i see his 2 come sit beside him-

with their hearts intertwined.

Everyday is an adrenaline rush

Sometimes I feel like I belong no where but here.

At this moment.

And then- other times I feel like gravity has pulled me to an unknown space that I know I should be forbidden to go to.

My heart beats faster here.

Everyday is an adrenaline rush.

Question marks constantly huver over my head. They press upon me until they reach my heart.

The good news is- I have become a map.

I know how to get home from every metro. I know the city now.

Tourists are like bugs to me, they infest this city.

It gives me hope when I can successfully guide a bug to an area. "Parlez vous anglais?" They ask....

if they only knew!

"yes," i say casually. Convincing them I have lived here forever.

If I die here it is because of my bicycle.

I dont think you realize how scary it can be going down a steep hill on a narrow street with parisians not looking twice half the time at a little girl in a black coat, early in the morning.

(It is my first adrenaline rush of the day.)

I belong to a new church now. The American Church of Paris. The first time I went I got tears in my eyes. It was so nice, so releiving- to hear English.
To understand perfectly.
To Feel like you belong.
To remember where you come from.




I fly away to Rome on Friday. Just a "casual weekend get away" haha!...I hope to make a wish at the Trevi Fountain and see the coliseum...drink wine, and walk until my feet hurt. Most of all repeat "when in Rome," again and again.


Yesterday I spent the day at the Louvre. It was amazing, overwhelming, scary, and clostrophobic.


When I stepped outside (back into reality) I felt like I had taken a time machine. I was so used to seeing paintings, sculptures, mummmies, tombs, etc etc...that when I came outside and noticed people were indeed not in 18th century clothing and angels were not falling from the sky- I felt relieved!





I lazed around in Touleries Park, around the fountain in a comfy chair, and listenened in on an english conversation. I let the sun hit my face and sing me to sleep for an hour. When I woke up I was convined I was back in Saskatchewan on the beach with my friends that now seem so far away.


I mett up with a girlfriend later- we decided to grab dinner.


All I wanted was a coke- the waiter asked me if i wanted water to go along with it...


I simply replied yes, (thinking like a Canadian)- water is free.





Not the case.





13 euros later...with a coke and water in my body and nothing els..we left and made our way to the Eiffel Tower light show!





Lastnight...feeling all historic- I decided to watch " The Da Vinci Code."
Very festive I thought, considering my day at the Louvre.




It was the scariest thing I have ever seen....




Now-
I am scared of the Louvre.





Thanks Alot Tom Hanks...





Anyway,


I am full of emotion lately. A different emotion than I usually feel. Its full and yet empty.
What keeps the void broken is knowing I will soon see familiar faces. I cant emagine how great it will feel. Everything has constantly been "new" here.
New city. New family. New friends. New diet. New language.
Being thrown into a new Religion...
What about the old?
Where did the old me go?

I am full of questions but feel like answering none of them.

Tomorrow morning I am taking off to Luxembourg Garden to think.
And write (of course)...I am getting into sketching to.
I planted a plant today, and dug up the garden. I realize now being here that Nature keeps me sane the most. Whenever I feel tangled, messy, and stressed I turn towards parks, and the garden. Nature.
Music.

Goodnight Friends-













love,


laura.

Sunday

A day of leisure

faces smile in the sun.

with heads tilted towards the heat.

Feet tap the pavement slower today

a destination has no time.

The pond glistens the park.

giving a feeling of comfort in the heart of Paris.

Conversations flow naturally

on a sunday.

Pigeons

(almost)

belong on the water with the ducks.

I belong nowhere on a Sunday.

like the wind.

I float aimlessly among the streets

carrying only my thoughts and a pen and paper.

Anything is possible.

Paris Diary's

Paris Diary's
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Monday, October 5, 2009 at 9:26pm Edit Note Delete
Paris Diary's.

It seems like four weeks has turned into four months. I have done so much in one month it is hard to understand how I did it.
I could write forever really...about the things I have seen, done...the people I have mett, all of my struggles etc etc. But I have decided that if you really want to know in more detail about any of these things..just ask. I promised a few of you I would write a summary. So this is my Summary.
I landed in Paris with a sunrise. The twinkle of Paris gave me hope. I stayed up for two days- and recovered with no jet lag. My room is pink here. My sheets are pink, walls, accessories. Quite typical "girl wanting to move to Paris" type room, I love it.
I live on a cloud- st.cloud. Garches to be exact, a suburb outside of Paris. I live ontop of Paris really, you can see the Eiffel tower no problem. I live with a beautiful family. Ilana and I do fashion shows, and dance. Nathan and I play soccer and play tennis. Eva and I look after dolls and learn about the world (colors, shapes, animals). Michelle and Alain are wonderful parents and people who are helping me discover a new life!I ride a shiny red bike to the train station every day. It is downhill the entire way so I do not have pedal once, coming home can be tricky.
I buy flowers alot. Carry them through Paris! I buy big scarves, big boots, big jewelry. My IPod is my best friend on the metro, keeping me away from french men and reality at times when I do not want it.I have mett some amazing girls who keep me laughing and learning! They save me at 4AM from bad men when I get lost...eat creps with me and explore.
Espresso is a must in the morning. Yogurt has become a regular diet...along with bread and vegetables. I am a vegetarian here (almost)...my family does not eat meat.
I can't count how many times I have aimlessly wandered through Paris with no place to go..yet always end up somewhere special.
I have seen mona lisa, notre dame, luxenbourg gardens, st martin canal, bastille, opera garnier, arc de triumph,countless museums, countless restaurants,...sometimes I have to tell myself to slow down for I want to not waste time and do everything!I write in my journal daily...write poetry in the sun and sketch. Inspiration comes from the feeling of this city.
My French is coming slowly. I started classes today. It is taught in French however I have been told that is the best way to learn.

I was thrown into this city deaf.

My eyesight is the only way I survived.
Watching people get on the trains/metros...watching how cards work, how to exit. Observation is key!Walking is essential here. Along with a look of hatrid. Do not smile at anyone you do not know. I must remember that! If you do..it opens up a flood gate of interrogation.
Wine is cheap! Cakes are plenty and espresso is a companion.
Dogs are dirty.
Beggers beg at every street corner.
The rich carry chanel and louis vuitton shopping bags hoping someone notices.
Art flourishes.
Music matters.
Style matters.
Time is your enemy. Wear a watch at all times.

I do not know why I came here. I can not pin point the exact reason. I know I have fallen in love with this strange city which belongs to me now. Even if I fly home to Canada tomorrow I feel like Paris will never leave me. Although it is hard, with a new challenge everyday- I feel I have grown in one month more than I did throughout all of last year.
Paris is Paris. Changes every day.Who knows- tomorrow I could feel entirely different. For now, this is me, my update.For those who know I love them- keep in touch. I love reading about your lives!
We are all still under the same sun, although mine sets much earlier.

Bonne Nuit!
xoxo.Laura.