Everyday is an adrenaline rush

Sometimes I feel like I belong no where but here.

At this moment.

And then- other times I feel like gravity has pulled me to an unknown space that I know I should be forbidden to go to.

My heart beats faster here.

Everyday is an adrenaline rush.

Question marks constantly huver over my head. They press upon me until they reach my heart.

The good news is- I have become a map.

I know how to get home from every metro. I know the city now.

Tourists are like bugs to me, they infest this city.

It gives me hope when I can successfully guide a bug to an area. "Parlez vous anglais?" They ask....

if they only knew!

"yes," i say casually. Convincing them I have lived here forever.

If I die here it is because of my bicycle.

I dont think you realize how scary it can be going down a steep hill on a narrow street with parisians not looking twice half the time at a little girl in a black coat, early in the morning.

(It is my first adrenaline rush of the day.)

I belong to a new church now. The American Church of Paris. The first time I went I got tears in my eyes. It was so nice, so releiving- to hear English.
To understand perfectly.
To Feel like you belong.
To remember where you come from.




I fly away to Rome on Friday. Just a "casual weekend get away" haha!...I hope to make a wish at the Trevi Fountain and see the coliseum...drink wine, and walk until my feet hurt. Most of all repeat "when in Rome," again and again.


Yesterday I spent the day at the Louvre. It was amazing, overwhelming, scary, and clostrophobic.


When I stepped outside (back into reality) I felt like I had taken a time machine. I was so used to seeing paintings, sculptures, mummmies, tombs, etc etc...that when I came outside and noticed people were indeed not in 18th century clothing and angels were not falling from the sky- I felt relieved!





I lazed around in Touleries Park, around the fountain in a comfy chair, and listenened in on an english conversation. I let the sun hit my face and sing me to sleep for an hour. When I woke up I was convined I was back in Saskatchewan on the beach with my friends that now seem so far away.


I mett up with a girlfriend later- we decided to grab dinner.


All I wanted was a coke- the waiter asked me if i wanted water to go along with it...


I simply replied yes, (thinking like a Canadian)- water is free.





Not the case.





13 euros later...with a coke and water in my body and nothing els..we left and made our way to the Eiffel Tower light show!





Lastnight...feeling all historic- I decided to watch " The Da Vinci Code."
Very festive I thought, considering my day at the Louvre.




It was the scariest thing I have ever seen....




Now-
I am scared of the Louvre.





Thanks Alot Tom Hanks...





Anyway,


I am full of emotion lately. A different emotion than I usually feel. Its full and yet empty.
What keeps the void broken is knowing I will soon see familiar faces. I cant emagine how great it will feel. Everything has constantly been "new" here.
New city. New family. New friends. New diet. New language.
Being thrown into a new Religion...
What about the old?
Where did the old me go?

I am full of questions but feel like answering none of them.

Tomorrow morning I am taking off to Luxembourg Garden to think.
And write (of course)...I am getting into sketching to.
I planted a plant today, and dug up the garden. I realize now being here that Nature keeps me sane the most. Whenever I feel tangled, messy, and stressed I turn towards parks, and the garden. Nature.
Music.

Goodnight Friends-













love,


laura.