negative emotion

Coffee dates, loved ones, and the stress of university, do not cover this, although i pretend it does.

yes i am fague, because why expose everything when i can instead leave it up to your imagination.

i enjoy writing, personally or for the public. I have always loved writing since I was little. I used to make up stories before I knew how to write, and instead of using words I used pictures. People ask me why I blog and the reason is, maybe people can see a part of me they do not see when i am sitting smiling or laughing. You know, the outwards shell really says little. A person can be smiling and laughing all day long and feeling nothing but pain inside...

I miss Paris more than you all know. It is one of those things that is so deep- you almost feel no emotion at all. I think the thing I miss the most when i refer to 'Paris' is who I was in Paris...

I was full of life, happy, hopeful,..had faith. I saw the world through different eyes, as I do now (but my eyes have changed). I would describe myself presently, as the girl you see in the old films staring out a foggy train window as she is leaving her loved one. You know that image. She sees the hills rolling by but really only sees loss.

I attempted to write this blog entry on a happier note- but these are the words that are spilling out so I apologize on being full of negative emotion. Blogs are meant to be 'real' although i see so many people saying one thing..almost preaching...and then going out and doing the exact opposite the next day. You know, atleast im honest.